Free Humor
Conan: "Tonight, we're going to look ahead into the future."
Andy: "The future, Conan?"
Conan: "Yes, the future. All the way to the year 2000."
--Late Night with Conan O'Brien
The following is a short list of lines from one of my favorite comedy sketches: "In the Year 2000." Enjoy!
Michael Moore will protest the war in Iraq by going on a hunger strike. No one will notice for the first fifteen years.
Terrorism experts will reveal that dirty bombs are just regular bombs that just enjoy sleeping with high school chicks.
A strange virus will kill every man in the world except Conan O'Brien, and every woman in the world except Jennifer Lopez. The marriage will last 32 days.
Tired of being the subject of dirty limiricks, the old man from Nantucket will move to a new town called 'Coral Sex'.
Players will play, but umpires will strike leaving baseball games up to the honor system. While cheating rampantly, the Mets will still lose 100 games.
Bandits will attack Queen Elizabeth. To save her life she will have to call on the knights sworn to defend her-Elton John, Mick Jagger and Paul McCartney.
Michael Jackson's son, Prince Michael II will write a memoir in which he wistfully recalls that one glorious moment on the balcony when he nearly escaped.
We will finally learn what makes French vanilla ice cream different from regular vanilla ice cream--cowardice.
Colgate will come out with a new toothpaste that not only whitens teeth, but makes them Anglo-Saxon Protestant.
A major corporation's scheme to purify the human race is uncovered, when the operation's secret code name is revealed: Ethnic McCleansing.
posted by The Niem @ 6:06 PM
3 comments
3 Comments:
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Good to hear from you again, my friend. I really enjoyed this column... got to start my morning with a laugh before the boss got here.
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